I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
