for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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