Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
