the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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