Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
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I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
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These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My bed smells like the plague
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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