Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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