I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
