and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
