My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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