We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
