I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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