Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
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I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
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Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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