Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
