I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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