why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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