none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
