STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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