so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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