Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
