one might say we're banned from that church
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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