I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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