Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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