I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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