the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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