did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.