What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
