he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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