I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
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She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
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We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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