Plan B is the new Plan A
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
