What a fucking waste of an outfit
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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