do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
