Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
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Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
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But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.