Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me