just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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