first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Drake has all the answers
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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