just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
FUCK WHALES
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize