After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
