walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Gay?
German.
Pity.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
