i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She bit a glass in half.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
