One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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