We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
