dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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