I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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