I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
