I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
