And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
