I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
