just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
