; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize