i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My feet surprised me
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