It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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