I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize