We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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