You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
