Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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