my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
